It was the best of times and - for the purposes of this list - it was the worst of times. That pretty much explains 2012 in movies. For every "Skyfall" there was a "Hunger Games", for every "Avengers" there was an "Iron Sky" to leave you muttering at the screen. The following is my personal list of the 5 worst films 2012 numbered 1-5 but in no actual order. I could easily fill out a worst 25 list but who wants to spend that much time recalling a bunch of cinematic duck farts? So 5 it is and here they are.
1) John Carter: Misguided adaptation of the year easily becomes one of the worst major motion pictures of the year.
2) Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance: What do you say about a movie that makes the original "Ghost Rider" seem like "Lawrence of Arabia"? Not much.
3) The Hunger Games: If there was a more completely worthless media darling of a movie this year I'm not aware of it. The Disney post-apocalypse meets "Saw". Somewhere Donald Sutherland is quietly kicking himself for stooping this low.
4) Men in Black III - The first real indication that Will Smith is officially 'waning'. The film's shameless profiteering was almost as shameless as...
5) The Expendables II - Dear Diary: Today was a typical day on the Expendables II set. First the guys talked about lifting weights for 30 minutes. Then they reported to the set. After lots of manly Hollywood-style horsing around the camera guy said the camera would start rolling and the guys were told to act like they were killing bad guys and stuff. There were real Hollywood lights and cables and stuff. It was manrific! Then we had lunch. Then Chuck Norris stopped by so we got him a gun and and he moved it back and forth for a few minutes. He had to leave to get back to the bingo tournament but he's so great. You could feel you were in the presence of a real icon and stuff. After Chuck left, Ahnuld took a break to bang the cleaning lady and Sly ran out to get some more HGH. He didn't get back until it was dark so we turned on the camera and shot some footage of things blowing up at night. Awe-man-some! Sly's pretty confident he'll be able to exhume John Wayne for #3!
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